.Anonymous Numbers.

You loved me once and maybe I loved you too. I don't know. I love a lot of people. We
Used to sit on rooftops smoking for the stars, for the dawn, for each other. I think we
Misplaced a whole month of sleep. That's for how long I loved you. I don't know if you
Loved me longer. Maybe. I don't know. I've been loved by a lot of people. Perhaps you
Thought you loved me. That happens a lot. Sometimes, not often, but sometimes, I
Think of the numerical buildings you used to draw. I think I understand them better now. I
Think I understand more better now. I think that maybe now I am just a number to you.
That's alright with me, you know. I just wanted to say that it made me sad to see you
And feel distant enough to avoid a hello. You've been inside me, I thought. Once, when we
were two numbers in the same building. What made me sadder still was not that we
are strangers now. In fact, it had nothing to do with you at all. I was floating, rapt up in my own world. I
Thought I was a stranger. I saw you see me and then I was more than just I.

Someone saw me and suddenly I wasn't anonymous.

.History.

Throw down that bottle but the paper tiger will still grin. Stamp on it
To shatter your simmering secrets. Don't forget to use protection:
I have scars on my souls that will make your toes curl like lace. Make
Sure you put that bitch down! Scrape off every label with every burning word.
Use his limbs like toothpicks, casual as a cowboy; peel him like a mandarin;
Toss his skin, Suck his flesh, Spit it out; throw a fistful of leaves into his folding face.
When you're through, crawl off into the sunset. And for god's sakes,
Try not to throw up this time.

.It Was Just A Poke.

Lovers folding, heartbeats fluttering like a flock of a thousand sparrows.
Toes twitch as static lips finger the fine lines between staccato kisses.
I make you try, diamond hard, for me, a meek kitten, as I roar from one too many
Licks. Come, run your change of hips by me, swinging from cold to hot so easily,
you stupid ape. Draw me like a magnetic ace, the winning card you
Pretend you don’t want. Fill me, yet another hole, as if I wasn’t gaping
enough. I have my own spade, thank you.

A simple pout pulls the upper hand but
I’m laden, and you are no gentleman, and there is no concierge for this.
Lord I would love to club that silly smirk off your dick.

.If This Was A Book.

I could pause and put you down;
It would make a change to be the one that's
Up. Up, I could make coffee, mull it
Over.
When I get stuck on
Something you say, I could
Keep you like a bookmark, keep
You there until I think of a
Comeback. I could come back
When I'm stronger and read
Exactly
What you said
So I could throw every word in your face.

Then I could rewrite you, so you would say
Everything I want to hear.

But this isn't a book, and you are
Nothing but a chapter so I climb
Down and put you
On the shelf. I turn my
Back and reach for
Someone else.

.Who Am I Aroma.

Even now, as I hole up in the middle of my bed,
Reeking of pride at the duplicity of my lips, it
Oozes in and makes my eyes pop. Here it comes,
Hurtling between my breasts, a three-leaf scent;
Why don't I know which one is mine?

.Counting Lovers Like Stars.

Counting lovers like stars. Candles
Burning in empty wine bottles.
Hair is pulled back, singing the blues
Once more, no longer amused and
The sun rises, blooms like a lily
In a rainbow sky. Still, it's silly,
This desire to be loved the way
I want to be loved. So each day
I play lovers like piano keys,
Leaving like a butterfly on a careless breeze.

One day, pulled back my eyelashes will rise.
The piano will burn, disappear with a sigh.
The darkness, like me, will be silent and still.
In the sun I will rise, rise until

There is a word in the dark.
And it is ugly and stark.

.Stuck In Traffic.

I am a traffic light
Red like heat
Orange heaves
Beaneath
Me
Like a world
Under
The sunset
Green lies at
The end
timid and pure
It almost makes me smile
Tooth by tooth
Like piano keys
but before the
whole song is
played
the mouth
f
a
l
l
s
shut
like
velvet theatre curtains
I'd like to
spring
these flashing traffic
lights but
it seems that
I can
never
quite make up
my
mind.

Word doodles are addictive. Peter, I blame you. In a good way.

.Waiting.

Lying
in the middle
of this bed
when I should be
doing
much less
like sleeping
and then I look up
thinking
that maybe
I saw
the door
sway
just a little
so I sit
staring
just for a moment
It's still, like
one of those
freaks who stand
on corners
dressed as statues
God they freak me out

It upsets me
to think my mind
is
lying
What other untruths has it unleashed on me
Rolling like snowballs
until
I am trapped
under an avalanche
of my own bullshit.

Then I realise that
the door is
always
moving
just a little
and I am
always
lying
just a little
sitting
in the middle
of the bed
pretending
that I'm not
always
waiting
for the door to
swing
open
and for
you
to walk in
whoever
you
are.

I am so impressed with myself for omitting any punctuation. Sheer will power, people.

.Strawberry Constellations.

No dreaming on a bed of flowers.
Eyes, smooth as pearls, are agape but
Do not blink. Silent and blind, horses
Flitter by, their wings flashing midnight,
Hooves scratching milky ribs, the skin
Turning glitter-rough and heartbeat red.
There are strawberries littering my palms
Like constellations I can't make out.

I know what this is, I can feel it:
The hoping eyes, the twitching mouth,
The breast sighing like a wave, heavy
With desire. I know what this is, and
Then shards of an Apple strike me like bullets;
I grow tight as my hands grope for a way out.

.Sunglasses In Bed.

Grasshopper glances are not fair so early in the morning

When the footprints of my dreams have not yet faded.

My smile is still fresh,

My palms outstretched,

and I forget, again,

to wear sunglasses.

At night I say, 'You can stay here all day,

tangling your breath with mine. I promise you

coffee, gollywog black,

and arctic showers,

Just as long as you leave me

More broken lemon tree branches,

And don't mind if I wear

sunglasses in bed.'

.Beats Me.

Beats me, the colour of his eyes.

I remember only flocatti,

Dirty, spiking me like thistles

So that I blew my marble dust

out and over

his skin.

Beats me, the number of branches

On the lemon tree outside.

I remember the neck was not familiar,

And how the seconds rattled by,

boulders in the sands of time.

And it struck me like a tomahawk

That I was getting blurry round the edges,

That my fingers were thickening,

That my life no longer rhymed.

.Morning After Chill.

Shaking, marble grey, as the restlessness of having
nothing to itch hits seven years late. Skin is tight,
S t r e t c h e d like a smile
Under hands that are hungry and weak.

There is laughter between my legs
As I reach for something I do not understand.

Morning lips find me, draping like ivy but I
wince, coffee bitter, though I should be
open to this, since it’s been
a while since I’ve had a spoonful of
sugar.

.I Do.

As if there's a piano on your skin.

Fingers banging naughty notes
That shouldn't make sense.

But I do.

Stripes of bruises glow
Black on your thigh,
Eight kisses deep,
Each chased by a sigh.

The key to your smile changes, but your laughter is cheap;
its bitterness pounds off the glass ceiling.
When I point at
it, it thins
bubble-thick, and
POP!
I catch 22 mirrors on my tongue.

Tick, tock,
Tick, tock.
I count white lies to seduce sleep.
I don't want to dream.

But I do.