. Black Cats and Oranges.

Twisting through the midnight streets, we meander,
Touching any hope floating by.
The shadow of a tree makes me
pause. My eyes lean in and when they wrap themselves
around the little sunset globes, I cry.
I hate oranges.
Look, there are plastic stars resting on all the fences;
I wrestle them.
I lose and I sigh.

Black cats yowl, the yellow, hollow
O's of their eyes pulling me into the darkness.
I take a step back.

I'm on the outside now. I can taste it.
I'm walking alone, a single solider,
leading but not the leader,
but it's alright.

.Anonymous Numbers.

You loved me once and maybe I loved you too. I don't know. I love a lot of people. We
Used to sit on rooftops smoking for the stars, for the dawn, for each other. I think we
Misplaced a whole month of sleep. That's for how long I loved you. I don't know if you
Loved me longer. Maybe. I don't know. I've been loved by a lot of people. Perhaps you
Thought you loved me. That happens a lot. Sometimes, not often, but sometimes, I
Think of the numerical buildings you used to draw. I think I understand them better now. I
Think I understand more better now. I think that maybe now I am just a number to you.
That's alright with me, you know. I just wanted to say that it made me sad to see you
And feel distant enough to avoid a hello. You've been inside me, I thought. Once, when we
were two numbers in the same building. What made me sadder still was not that we
are strangers now. In fact, it had nothing to do with you at all. I was floating, rapt up in my own world. I
Thought I was a stranger. I saw you see me and then I was more than just I.

Someone saw me and suddenly I wasn't anonymous.

.Mirrors In My Hair.

When I was
born
they wanted me
to remember
who I was
Always
so
they put
mirrors in my hair
so
now
every time I think
I am looking
up
I am actually
looking
down.

.Overthought.

Delicate and drunk I wander a
garden of dreams, bitter flowers twisting,
petals ripping at the seams, and I
yawn, silent indignance at the
sweet flickering shadow sneaking around
the edges. This garden is not round, it does not
roll, but it is dough in the hands of the weak.
Helpless and raw, I smile still, my tongue
beating in the cave of my words,
manipulated, like the tune of the
thousandth fiddle. One lazy lick and I blow over like
gossip, all the while winter whispering in its milky rasp,
‘You are awake.’

.5am.

Faces, words, donkey laughter and I,
Someone's daughter, fail, frown at
the still dancing, and then
Moving, like a top, towards bed
But not sleep. I tap thoughts into
You but I don't know if you can hear
Me. One finger constantly strumming
Doubts that I cannot dream away, though
I try.

.Sunset Pedicure.

The sun flickered in,
pinked up my room as if
the world outside
was on fire.
Though the world
was burning,
I did not move.
I lay,
still as a stone,
staring at my toes
which had been
pedicured
just that morning.

I felt my eyes glaze,
as they rolled in my skull,
and my lips lay limp
against my teeth.
I think my mind was empty,
just cobwebs,
maybe dust, swirling instead.

There were books on the shelf
whose titles I could not read,
and photos of strangers
hung up on my wall.
One of them was crooked,
looked like it might fall,
but it didn’t bother me
at all.

There was no reflection in the mirror
(though it might have been the angle)
and I don’t remember blinking.
If I breathed I made no sound.

I can’t be sure but
all the pink I saw was
from the same
sunset,
even though it is Spring now

And I pedicured my toes in Autumn.

Wishing the whistling from the next room would hit
As red light, give way to nodding. My feet
feel lonely with only each other and my eyes flit
Through the darkness, owl-like. 'I am body heat,'

I say. 'I can do this, radiate alone.'
I ignite my pride and roll onto my back.
I can still smoke up there on my throne,
But for once I'd like to kick back and relax.
Down here I can be, just part of the night.
Free to sit still, to smoke and to cry.

.Midnight Reflection.

Bed, and instead of sleep, my

Reflection, messy and merciless, milky
in its faded glow.

And how the silence tolls,

tickling the corners

while I, tutu pink and clam-grey pale,

Blink

in non-morse code;

bat-like, battling the light.

Still secrets swim, suspicious and sore and
Much too smart for fishermen.